I Think My Ex Husband Still Loves Me: How Do I Know If He Still Loves Me After A Divorce

I Think My Ex Husband Still Loves Me: How Do I Know If He Still Loves Me After A Divorce

Separated wives often think that if they just knew for sure that their husband still loved them, then things would be OK. They feel sure that if the loving feelings returned, then this marital issue could be worked out.

It might be surprising to know that love doesn’t always guarantee that a separation will end. Some wives feel pretty sure that their separated husband still loves them. And yet, it still doesn’t seem to be enough. Here’s a typical comment in this type of scenario: ‘I was completely floored when my husband left me. Because I know in my heart, without any doubt, that he loves me. No, he doesn’t tell me anymore. And during this separation, he hasn’t reached out to me all that much. But when we are together and he looks at me, I see total longing. I’m not kidding. It is there in his eyes. And other people have noticed it also. It does confuse me – how I can know without any doubt that he loves me and yet we are still apart? There are some things about me that I guess my husband feels that he just can not live with anymore. He thinks that I am spoiled and selfish. He thinks that I only consider myself and that I have never really loved him just for himself – but for what he can give me. I don’t know how to respond to these assumptions. I am not as mature as him, I admit that. And I have probably said and done some things that make him feel taken for granted. But I do love him. And I could be a better wife if he would give me the chance. But I do know that he still loves me. Why is that not enough?’

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

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I wish that I could give you an answer that would be sufficient to answer this question. But honestly, there probably isn’t one in existence. Unfortunately, I can tell you that there are many couples who are undoubtedly both still in love with one another and yet, they just could not make it work. Sometimes, there is conflict, lack of resolution, or deal-breakers between the couple that just keep them from being together.

Appreciating That There Is One Less Issue To Overcome: Knowing that love is enough would be ideal. But love is only one piece of the puzzle. I don’t want to discount love because it can make a reconciliation easier. Many husbands leave and question whether they still love their wives PLUS they have conflict. In these cases, there are many issues to overcome. So at least acknowledge that with the love still there, this is one less issue to worry about.

Don’t Become Complacent Because Of The Love: At least you do have the confidence in knowing that he still loves you, but I think that there can be a danger of assuming that there is no risk when love is present. Don’t allow this assumption to cause you to not address the problems. Sometimes, the problems win and cause a divorce in spite of the love.

Of course, I don’t know your husband, but from what you have said, one can assume that he would like to see evidence of your gaining maturity, your showing consideration for him, and your exhibiting less behavior that makes him feel taken for granted. If the love is still there, at least it is more likely that he will be open to seeing and considering these improvements when they happen.

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Allow Him To See Real Growth: I do think that it’s vital that he sees that you are taking this very seriously and are very sincere in your desire to show change and growth in order to save your marriage. Ask yourself which of his assumptions have validity and then work very hard to address what is keeping you from having a strong and solid marriage.

Really make that change. Don’t just tell your husband that you have – only to have him discover the truth and then lose all trust for you. Sometimes, you can attempt to fool him, just to get him back quickly. But once this is discovered, not only can it ruin everything, but it can made it incredibly hard to get him back the second time.

So it’s important that you are very sincere about real and lasting change. It’s important that you see the health and balance of your marriage as a priority.

Show Him That Having Most Of What He Wants Is Possible: I don’t want to discount the remaining love. There is no doubt that it is an advantage because it may make him want to believe you. It may make him think that your marriage is worth fighting for. But, your job is still to make him see that, with a little tweaking, he can have BOTH the person who makes him happy and the marriage that makes him happy.

Because the separation has shown that although he loves the person, he didn’t love how the marriage was shaping up. You can’t have a mutually fulfilling marriage without both of those things. The good news is that you only have one of these things to fix. So it makes sense to get moving and to show him that you are serious.

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Have you ever tried to reconcile differences within your marriage through the aid of retreats? Did it give you a sense of comfort and calm listening to guides and pieces of advice from people of reverence and authority? What makes marriage retreats a common choice for solution among couples? In the same light that marriage seminars prior to the wedding ceremony serve as a guide for the couples as they enter into matrimony, marriage retreats are believed to serve also as a guide—this time in the struggle that couples endure not only in their relationship as a married couple but also in the family life, kids and in-laws involved. Like always, retreats may not be the best option for everyone. However, a lot of couples will attest to the effectiveness of going through a retreat and here are some of the reasons supporting this claim.

Group Therapy

One form of marriage retreats that work for most couples is group therapy. Why? Because it offers a non-exclusive, free forum, friendly atmosphere that seem to be lacking in the traditional marriage counseling. Some couples fear the exclusivity in marriage counseling, where the two of them will have to sit in front of one therapist—alone in an office room. It’s like having a shrink for your marital problems, and some people find this uncomfortable. As for marriage retreats, the format of a group therapy with an experienced facilitator and organized activities offers variety and technique to finding a solution to the couple’s problems. Having this format and method makes for a lively and differentiated approach to solving problems rather than coming into the counselor’s office day in and day out and talking in the same manner about problems which seem to be piling up.

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Authoritative Advice

Does marriage retreat work? Yes, because although it is not as formal or exclusive as a marriage counseling, the advice that couples get from a retreat—either from a facilitator or fellow participants—are just as valuable. Another advantage of a retreat as opposed to formal counseling is that the advice, although just as authoritative, comes in as less invasive and less dictatorial. As the couples take a step back from the daily grind of their married life, the go through the retreat and simply pick up tips and advice here and there, may it be from an actual activity or group session, or from a casual conversation with other couples and facilitators.

Intensive Counseling

Most marriage retreats, especially those organized by religious groups, boast of the atmosphere of love and discovery. But of course, for marriage retreats to work, the main thrust of the activity must still be harbored from these themes of love and discovery. Counseling is a major part of the retreat even though this may be executed in various themes and approaches, making it all the more efficient. Married couples who rely on their faith and resort to this bond of religion would find marriage retreats most helpful because the intensive counseling being offered are deeply rooted on the values and principles that the couples believe and uphold.

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Is your marriage on the rocks? Do you still love your husband? Are you willing to save your marriage? Many women have asked the same questions to themselves after they found but that marriage is not for them. But can your marriage be saved if you still love him?

Marriage is a life-long commitment and is one of the most romantic occasions that every woman wants to experience. However, even this relationship is being tested. But if you still both love each other, you will always find a way to fix your problems. Saving your marriage can be difficult but is very rewarding in the end. As long as you love each other and you can admit your mistakes, there is always a way to iron things out.

It will also help if you know how to handle things properly. Here are some things that you can do to save your troubled marriage.

Tip #1: Change your Attitude

Stop asking ‘can my marriage be saved?’ but do something and act now. There might be some problems with your attitude that your husband cannot take anymore. It will be best to start working on your marriage and change your negative attitude. Once your husband notice this, he will do the same and cooperate. Don’t get upset as you cannot fix your troubled marriage overnight. It will take months before you see any progress.

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Tip #2: Reverse Negative comments

Just like you, your spouse is not perfect and you will see faults every now and then. However, these can also be a result of misunderstanding. It would be best if you will reverse all these and start looking at things positively. It will also help if you will reverse negative comments. If you think your husband doesn’t care about you, start saying ‘my husband does care about me’. Start to think positively and everything will follow.

Tip #3: Consult a Therapist and Not a Marriage Counselor

Since you are the one who wants to start saving your relationship, it would be best of you will consult a therapist who can help you. Others think that marriage counselors are better but on the other hand, some couples’ root of argument has something to do with what the marriage counselor said. Although this is not true all the time, it will still be better if you will start the change with yourself and don’t involve your husband right away unless you talked and planned about it.

Tip #4: Do the Opposite of What You Want to Do

Yes, this is crazy and takes a lot of self-control but it really works. For instance, you had a bad day and got home with your husband watching TV when there are a lot of cleaning to do. Instead of yelling at him and pick a fight, get a glass of wine or chips and beer and join him. This is really difficult to do but this will change a lot in you. You will start to think positively and feel positive. You will no longer want to yell at your husband but you will ask him to help you with the chores in a good way.

If you want to save your marriage, you should be ready to do everything, even if it sounds a little crazy.

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Are you in a recent divorce? Are you having sleepless nights just thinking about how to get your husband back? Have you been experiencing such pain that makes you want to break down and end everything? Realize that many women go through the same situation. And each of them most probably have the same mindset as yours – getting their husband back. Bear in mind that a relationship that has ended could perhaps be restored and regained. To help you out with your dilemma, here are four tips to fix your broken marriage.

Tip #1: Define the grounds of the separation. Know what went wrong. Reflect on what happened and consider everything that might have caused the split. Issues of divorce could be in a form of lack of time, third party, or indecisions. Resolve it and find ways not to make it happen again. If he happens to have another woman, do not think that it’s already the end. It’s not. There is still a possibility that you two might get back together. You just have to put on so much effort and think of every possible way on how to get your husband back.

What if your spouse already left you? Here’s how to get them back.

Tip #2: Give yourself and your husband some time. You both need time to be away from each other. In this way, both of you might feel the longing. Weeks of having no communication at all will help you both reflect towards the broken marriage and make the two of you come up with a decision. But most often, husbands miss someone who cares for them. Men often leave everything in the household on the hands of their wives. In this case, just let him do everything for himself to make him realize your worth and what difference you can make on his life. This is yet another way on how to get your husband back.

Tip #3: Start a conversation. After weeks of excommunicating and he hasn’t called you yet, you may initiate the talk. Ask him for just a short conversation about settling everything. Asking him about the real score is never a forbidden thing. You two are married anyways. Be calm and never bring back the mistakes he had done in the past for it will just start another fight. You must consider the dislikes of either side to come up with a solution on how to get your husband back.

Tip #4: Bring out your best look. If your husband hasn’t had awe times with you for the last months of your marriage, then now is the time to shine. Surprise him with a look that he has never seen before. You may wear his favorite dress of yours to bring back the memories. Go to a salon and let them do the work. Not only will it relax you, but it will also give you more ideas on how to make yourself look better. How to get your husband back requires a lot of work and effort. However, all will pay off with a pleasant end result.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don’t have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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